My BP ex scares me and idk how to work on that fear

2021.09.28 11:46 2000sangel My BP ex scares me and idk how to work on that fear

Please bear with me, this is really hard to explain because it goes back so long in my life. I’m not going to make a lot of sense.
My BP/BPDex broke up with me in March this year, over text after 2 years of dating. We had previously dated several times, so basically being on and off from 2015 to 2021. We are the same age, and this took up my entire adolescence - met her when I was 12 years old and I am currently 19. Every single one of our relationships have been volatile, lots of lying and manipulation. I struggle to process let alone explain the sheer amount of things that she did and I’m scared to say anything about it, because when I tried to speak up years ago she convinced her friends to start a smear campaign against me on social media.
This year, after breaking up, we didn’t speak until June, when I reached out because we would both be attending a party and I felt obligated to make sure things were civil for the sake of the host (party didn’t end up happening bc of covid). After reaching out and having a few separate conversations (in which she acted the same as always), I reflected on the relationship and realised that my ex had been severely emotionally abusive towards me. I didn’t reach out after that, and my ex didn’t reach out either.
In the past few months she deactivated her Instagram profile. Last week she reactivated it, and she still has photos up of me, which really freaks me out. I spoke to my friends about this two days ago, and to reassure me they said it could just be a mistake, perhaps she had forgotten they were up. I thought this was unlikely (she has about 6 photos and I am in 3 of them) but hoped for the best. The next day my ex texted me after 3 months of no contact asking how I am.
I deleted it without replying. She has used the technique on me multiple times, and being a horribly naive teenager I fell for it every time. I know now this is called hoovering. I’m not going to fall for it again, but I’m so afraid of her.
For further context I am the only person she has been in any serious relationship with. She keeps trying to pull me back in over and over again and even though I can see it now I am still so scared. I don’t know how to get rid of that fear and I’m worried it will hold me back. Can anyone relate? Does anyone know how to let go of this fear and feel only the happiness that being away from her brings me?
submitted by 2000sangel to BipolarSOs [link] [comments]

2021.09.28 11:46 JJ3434JJ [M22] [PS4] [PS5] 82k Quicksell for $8

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submitted by JJ3434JJ to MCSPlaystation [link] [comments]

2021.09.28 11:46 RoyGBivolo Is not transitioning keeping me depressed?

I’m in college in my home city, I was really excited to go to college but upon starting I didn’t really have as much fun as I would have liked and have started to become more unhappy. All my friends who stayed in the city are not exactly a party going type and since I really enjoy going out it’s sucked because I’ve been anxious about meeting new people, and since Covid I feel as though I’ve become more negative and almost like my maturity has stunted and reversed, maybe it was just too much of a social withdraw. So now it’s the present I’m back on campus in person after a year and a half of online school, and it just still doesn’t feel good, and I’m starting to think if my gender might be another factor to my slump. I’m an AMAB but continue to question my gender, I honestly don’t take care of myself as a “man” and Covid didn’t help, I looked scraggly and gruff and disgusting. Many of my friends and I have gotten into arguments about how I need to change myself for the better instead of wallowing in my own misery, however in my current body I feel no need to improve myself. I’ve begun to think that perhaps I care less because I have a male body instead of a female one, and that maybe if I were to transition I’d be more likely to change my negative habits? However I have no idea if I’m actually trans or if transitioning would make me feel any happier? I just want to know what anyone is thinking I have no one really to talk to about this.
submitted by RoyGBivolo to asktransgender [link] [comments]

2021.09.28 11:46 TheOtherMidget Primary doctor just left me on my own.

Couple weeks ago my neurologist diagnosed with me with ME/CFS and basically told me the run down of what it was. Then my primary doctor didn’t want to do much until he heard what the neurologist said and just gave me the classic “exercise and counseling with medication.”
Getting some mental help was something I’ve been planning to do for a while since I do realize I have some unresolved issues I need to solve. However with the exercise I tried explaining that I can barely walk for like 20 minutes without any struggle and he just said to exercise less. Note to add, he did not give me any form of exercise that I can attempt to do and told me to come back if something else occurs in my life.
This all happened a couple weeks ago but I finally had the time to think things through. Just felt like I was abandoned to deal with this on my own so I guess this can be me venting and seeking some advice on what to do. What are some SUPER light exercises that I can attempt? I’ve gotten to know my body a bit better now so I know my limits more or less. I’m just kind of stuck and not sure where to start. I would appreciate to see what y’all had attempted.
submitted by TheOtherMidget to cfs [link] [comments]

2021.09.28 11:46 meowmmoth Benefits of Honours in Undergraduate degree

Hello, everyone,
I was wondering if anyone was aware of the advantages of doing an Honours in undergrad for applying to medicine? I am in pharmacy and going into my last year next year, which is an embedded Honours, and aiming to get into medicine in 2022. I was looking for any Australian universities that may give any advantage for it i.e., overall GPA 7 if Honours Class I?
submitted by meowmmoth to GAMSAT [link] [comments]

2021.09.28 11:46 Quiet_Influence_9099 SHINee’s Key Tops iTunes Charts Around The World With First Solo Mini Album “BAD LOVE”

SHINee’s Key Tops iTunes Charts Around The World With First Solo Mini Album “BAD LOVE” submitted by Quiet_Influence_9099 to SHINee [link] [comments]

2021.09.28 11:46 bonafidedemon 'I can't visualize': an article

Getting way too many messages from people who 'can't visualize'.
Vice did a whole article on the condition.

  1. Those of you, who have it: know you're not alone.
  2. I'd suggest to abstain from hurried self-diagnosis just because you haven't practiced enough and are ready to give up already because you're all stressed out and shit.
  3. “Our brain is malleable. You’ll use certain tricks to make up for that lack of imagination. Most people with aphantasia function perfectly well at school or at work,” Laureys says. “The most important message is that we all experience the world differently, and that this is no cause for anxiety or fear that you’re abnormal.”
  4. “Unpleasant images, either from movies or real life, don’t stick. That’s actually really nice.”
Basically, not being able to visualize does not mean you 'can't LOB'.
I'm gonna finish this with a classic: read the index :D
submitted by bonafidedemon to JosephMurphy [link] [comments]

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submitted by Good-Plane-1020 to CryptocurrencyICO [link] [comments]

2021.09.28 11:46 gloomshot_bot JUST A RANNDOM BEAR TRAP XD | Daily Dead By Daylight Community Highlights

Clip # Title Author Curator Score Source Direct Link
#1 [00:00] just a ranndom bear trap XD peydaygaming peydaygaming 0.024 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
#2 [00:28] Otz's Ringtone otzdarva trivers757 0.02052 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
#3 [00:39] Perfect RQ timing Satanic Witch None 0.0144 medal [CLICK]
#4 [01:08] No Touchy my CC! >;( Satanic Witch None 0.0144 medal [CLICK]
#5 [01:36] Sam is a god olafslaw None 0.0125 medal [CLICK]
#6 [02:06] BIRTHDAY TODAY! English / Killer & Survivor rotation with your builds! !sellout !voidu !birthday @tru3ta1ent tru3ta1ent foolmoonninja 0.01236 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
#7 [02:35] Too Strong otzdarva caliidare 0.012240000000000001 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
#8 [02:52] The moment you switch the roles with the Killer :) JafedoluemNo1 None 0.0119 medal [CLICK]
#9 [03:40] Invisible Feng Min - 2 for 1 deal willcoRed None 0.0117 medal [CLICK]
#10 [04:27] fitzyhere clip fitzyhere dowien 0.011399999999999999 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
#11 [04:52] Tokki realized she did a mistake. tokki tristanxdncr 0.0086 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
#12 [05:28] Felix Hacking elix jaake3 0.0081 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
#13 [05:56] Jonathan body blocking elix ettellocin 0.0066 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
#14 [06:24] cheating res tru3ta1ent shroudlookingboy 0.0054 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
#15 [06:52] Zarina tried it elix shadowydisaster 0.0061 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
#16 [07:25] TRYING TO BE A HERO FAIL kaycem karlarts93 0.0053 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
#17 [07:53] "Plague Main Event" tru3ta1ent rasmur 0.0048 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
#18 [08:51] Parkour otzdarva ytopic 0.0047 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
#19 [09:18] spectating drones swehyt capjam_ 0.0039 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
#20 [09:48] Lol tru3ta1ent razmouk 0.0047 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
Clip # | Created | Changes Made:--:|:--:|:--:
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final volume: 0.03712156848966644", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.49, "resize": "1920,1080 -> 1280, 720", "volume_changed": "-25.9, -3.6 -> multiplier 1.18", "lower_3rd_dur": 21, "add_texts": "Added texts: 'Perfect RQ timing'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 33}#4 [01:08] | 2021-09-27 12:26:04.522000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.04399542796330096 - final volume: 0.02800101270849744", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.38, "resize": "1920,1080 -> 1280, 720", "volume_changed": "-23.6, -1.7 -> multiplier 1.35", "lower_3rd_dur": 21, "add_texts": "Added texts: 'No Touchy my CC! >;('", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 49}#5 [01:36] | 2021-09-27 12:26:19.742000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.05146705880001918 - final volume: 0.05095915368694855", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.45, "fps": "60.0->30", "resize": "1920,1080 -> 1280, 720", "lower_3rd_dur": 22, "add_texts": "Added texts: 'Sam is a god'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 67}#6 [02:06] | 2021-09-26 15:42:49.993000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.034401644683722706 - 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final volume: 0.04351276997369245", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.44, "fps": "60.0->30", "resize": "1920,1080 -> 1280, 720", "volume_changed": "-25.5, -4.9 -> multiplier 1.08", "lower_3rd_dur": 35, "add_texts": "Added texts: 'Invisible Feng Min - 2 for 1 deal'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 71}#10 [04:27] | 2021-09-27 12:24:48.650000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.03808127070199703 - final volume: 0.018991660111575465", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.65, "fps": "60.0->30", "resize": "1920,1080 -> 1280, 720", "volume_changed": "-25.5, -0.5 -> multiplier 1.46", "lower_3rd_dur": 19, "chat_objs": 25, "top_emotes": {"LUL": 2, "fitzHey": 2, "<3": 1}, "add_texts": "Added texts: ' curator: dowien'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 50}#11 [04:52] | 2021-09-27 12:24:33.900000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.013509407227771993 - final volume: 0.01337701844274224", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.42, "fps": "60.0->30", "resize": "1920,1080 -> 1280, 720", "lower_3rd_dur": 27, "chat_objs": 34, "top_emotes": {"tokki10": 4, "LUL": 2, "tokkiLUL": 2}, "add_texts": "Added texts: 'Tokki realized she did a mistake.', ' curator: tristanxdncr'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 75}#12 [05:28] | 2021-09-27 12:24:36.551000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.05714054042694535 - final volume: 0.029003930785751385", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.49, "fps": "60.0->30", "resize": "1920,1080 -> 1280, 720", "volume_changed": "-20.0, 0.0 -> multiplier 1.52", "lower_3rd_dur": 21, "chat_objs": 44, "top_emotes": {":(": 1, "elix9Clownery": 1, "elix9Luv": 1}, "add_texts": "Added texts: 'Felix Hacking', ' curator: jaake3'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 63}#13 [05:56] | 2021-09-27 12:24:41.789000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.010250661936946213 - final volume: 0.017133344735268834", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.41, "fps": "60.0->30", "resize": "1920,1080 -> 1280, 720", "volume_changed": "-37.0, -11.0 -> multiplier 1.41", "lower_3rd_dur": 21, "chat_objs": 20, "top_emotes": {"elix9Roach": 3, "elix9Clownery": 2, "<3": 1}, "add_texts": "Added texts: 'Jonathan body blocking', ' curator: ettellocin'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 55}#14 [06:24] | 2021-09-26 15:42:46.698000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.03635472619996712 - final volume: 0.02470142961561554", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.75, "fps": "60.0->30", "resize": "1920,1080 -> 1280, 720", "volume_changed": "-25.3, -3.1 -> multiplier 1.22", "lower_3rd_dur": 21, "chat_objs": 59, "top_emotes": {"LUL": 4, "tru3Scare": 2, "tru3LUL": 2}, "add_texts": "Added texts: 'cheating res', ' curator: shroudlookingboy'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 56}#15 [06:52] | 2021-09-27 12:24:44.510000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.09001723940205367 - final volume: 0.04780468353893387", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.51, "fps": "60.0->30", "resize": "1920,1080 -> 1280, 720", "volume_changed": "-17.2, 0.0 -> multiplier 1.52", "lower_3rd_dur": 25, "chat_objs": 57, "top_emotes": {"LUL": 2, "elix9Eatdatpeach": 2, "elix9Hype": 2}, "add_texts": "Added texts: 'Zarina tried it', ' curator: shadowydisaster'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 72}#16 [07:25] | 2021-09-26 08:33:25.833000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.042768779469755595 - final volume: 0.04119620186073084", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.81, "fps": "60.0->30", "resize": "1920,1080 -> 1280, 720", "lower_3rd_dur": 21, "chat_objs": 5, "add_texts": "Added texts: 'TRYING TO BE A HERO FAIL', ' curator: karlarts93'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 52}#17 [07:53] | 2021-09-26 15:42:58.315000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.03816757031746517 - final volume: 0.025376777039472713", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.45, "fps": "60.0->30", "resize": "1920,1080 -> 1280, 720", "volume_changed": "-25.2, -2.1 -> multiplier 1.31", "lower_3rd_dur": 44, "chat_objs": 151, "top_emotes": {"LUL": 16, "tru3LUL": 3, "tagsPuke": 3}, "add_texts": "Added texts: '\"Plague Main Event\"', ' curator: rasmur'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 123}#18 [08:51] | 2021-09-27 12:24:54.791000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.03688166440446288 - final volume: 0.03669129625113711", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.61, "fps": "60.0->30", "resize": "1920,1080 -> 1280, 720", "lower_3rd_dur": 20, "chat_objs": 96, "top_emotes": {"PogChamp": 2, "LUL": 2, "geefHypers": 1}, "add_texts": "Added texts: 'Parkour', ' curator: ytopic'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 71}#19 [09:18] | 2021-09-27 12:25:04.123000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.0061090141497619245 - final volume: 0.0121380282179136", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.64, "fps": "60.0->30", "resize": "1920,1080 -> 1280, 720", "volume_changed": "-40.9, -17.5 -> multiplier 2.22", "lower_3rd_dur": 22, "chat_objs": 37, "top_emotes": {"swehytClown": 2, "NotLikeThis": 1, "swehytSad": 1}, "add_texts": "Added texts: 'spectating drones', ' curator: capjam'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 59}#20 [09:48] | 2021-09-26 15:43:01.131000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.029530415260451717 - final volume: 0.022079698975505328", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.57, "fps": "60.0->30", "resize": "1920,1080 -> 1280, 720", "volume_changed": "-28.3, -3.2 -> multiplier 1.21", "lower_3rd_dur": 45, "chat_objs": 56, "top_emotes": {"Kappa": 3, ":D": 2, "BibleThump": 2}, "add_texts": "Added texts: ' curator: razmouk'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 119} submitted by gloomshot_bot to gloomshot [link] [comments]

2021.09.28 11:46 VoloBere meme by volodymyrbereziuk#6930

meme by volodymyrbereziuk#6930 submitted by VoloBere to MoonbeamAmbassadors [link] [comments]

2021.09.28 11:46 bntzr Polizei gelingt Schlag gegen „Kokain-Pipeline“: 4,4 Tonnen Drogen beschlagnahmt

Polizei gelingt Schlag gegen „Kokain-Pipeline“: 4,4 Tonnen Drogen beschlagnahmt submitted by bntzr to de [link] [comments]

2021.09.28 11:46 Grace_Hearts What's the best page on reddit?

submitted by Grace_Hearts to AskReddit [link] [comments]

2021.09.28 11:46 jordiwmata It is known that heat & cold can influence a person’s productivity and performance in simple tasks; with respect to social cognition, it has also been suggested that temperature impacts on relatively high-level forms of decision-making

submitted by jordiwmata to Psychology_Papers [link] [comments]

2021.09.28 11:46 1491704367 Economics

submitted by 1491704367 to unimelb [link] [comments]

2021.09.28 11:46 GreatoKoichi yeah

submitted by GreatoKoichi to madnesscombat [link] [comments]

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2021.09.28 11:46 riderjohnson Why have do the daily grind when 5 out of the 7 days

Why have do the daily grind when 5 out of the 7 days in week I get caged light bulbs and Valley Galleria signs. FFS just make it so I get a new reward everyday this is getting so sickening everyday I get on and get a known plan I just wanna get off for the day maybe even a week. Why you making it so hard to get the simplest shit??
submitted by riderjohnson to fo76 [link] [comments]

2021.09.28 11:46 gigsyyy So when do you stop 1 hitting everything?

I just started lotro and i like it, but on the other end i hate it from the bottom of my heart when mmos in general do this: "press one button to kill a mob, repeat 5 times, quest done". No fun from combat at all and no real reason to upgrade gear apart from seeing bigger number when you one shot something. Does it ever really change or should i move to legacy server before i commit too much on normal?
submitted by gigsyyy to lotro [link] [comments]

2021.09.28 11:46 8kdk Masser fede rim

Masser fede rim submitted by 8kdk to danskrap [link] [comments]

2021.09.28 11:46 xIZane The "Engine" is not what you think...Probably

Let me start by saying that I'm making this post purely because I've been seeing so much talk about the "engine" that's a bit wrong. Not saying that people are stupid or anything, but there's clearly a lot of information about how a game engine works that people are simply unaware of; which then leads to a lot of misinformation being spread.
What is an Engine?
First off, an engine is simply a set of tools used to create a game, it doesn't inherently dictate how a game will play or feel. You can look at it as the brushes and paints used by artist to make paintings. Two different painters may use the exact same brushes and paints, but can produce vastly different paintings. The only cases in which you'll have similar results, is if that is intended.
The two main things to keep in mind are that: the engine is a toolbox used to make the game and doesn't inherently dictate how a game will feel; and the engine is a set of tools, not just one thing.
History of COD Engines
Every single COD ever created has run on some version of the IW engine. And this engine has had many different modifications and tools added to it by the developers over the years. Not only that, but they also sometimes share those tools between studios. For example, Cold War's engine is largely a continuation of what Treyarch first established with BO3, but it's also using some of the tools from MW19's IW8 engine, which is why a lot of the settings on PC are the same.
MW19's Engine
Now to dispel some of the mysticism of MW19's engine. The engine used by MW19 is the IW8 engine, and it was made on Infinity Ward's request by their Poland studio. This was a complete rebuild of the engine rather than further modification of it from their previous game's engine, and it took them many years to complete. This modernized the whole engine and brought it in line with current hardware and technology. It also gave them the tools to do a lot of the great things they did on a technical point with MW19.
Vanguard's Engine
Vanguard runs on the same base engine as MW19, the IW8; but it's not actually using the same exact version of that engine. Like it always happens, Sledgehammer has made their own improvements on the engine. It's not an entirely different engine; in fact, it's likely that it is largely the same, but some differences are there nonetheless.
Why the Games Feel so Similar
The reason the games feel so similar is because Vanguard seems to be using much of the code of MW19 as a base, not because they run on largely the same engine. And to be clear, I'm not saying this is good or bad, I'm just saying this is what seems is happening under the hood. In fact, this is mostly normal; the way CODs are made and come out every year, they NEED to reuse code a lot, otherwise it would be impossible for them to finish on time. And even with as much reusing of code they do, they are still barely able to meet deadlines it seems.
If you need further proof that the engine doesn't dictate if two games will feel the same, look no further than BO3 and Infinite Warfare. Those two games use 2 very, very different versions of the IW engine, but a lot of it feels the same simply because that's what they were going for. They're not the exact same, but nonetheless they still feel very much so.
And if you look outside of COD, the Unreal Engine is used in so many different games, and they don't all feel the same. Borderlands 3 and PUBG both use the Unreal Engine 4, but they certainly don't play and feel the same.
My thoughts on the matter
I think the games feeling very similar to each other is much more of a requirement imposed by Activision than what the developers necessarily wanted. It's no secret that Activision is pushing Warzone and wants to continue to push it as long as it'll continue to make them money.
If the game strayed too far from how MW19 feels, then it would be jarring to go between Vanguard and warzone, which is exactly what's happened with Cold War. And I know that it seems like warzone will completely update with Vanguard, but of course it still needs to feel similar for Activision to have the confidence to do a complete overhaul.
Personally, I dislike that COD is revolving around warzone, and not the other way around, but that's unfortunately the current state of things.
Finally, I don't see the issue with the games being so similar. For the most part, cods have always been similar to each other, and that's why the series has been so popular; it has stuck with a consistent formula. Having said that, I definitely have some issues with what they've taken from MW19 in terms of gameplay design (minimap, killstreaks, dead silence as a field upgrade, slower movement compared to cold war, etc). To be honest my bigger issue with this new effort to connect all the games is the menus looking the same.
submitted by xIZane to CODVanguard [link] [comments]

2021.09.28 11:46 daydreamingtulip Why booked in for Universal Credit meetings when I'm now hired?

I've been on universal credit for a few months now for unemployment reasons. Thankfully I got hired a couple weeks ago but I don't actually start until November. I informed them via my journal and was told congrats and I'll still get payments until my salary comes in.
Now I thought this meant that I no longer had work coach meetings, but I've just been booked in for one next week. Is this normal and can I get out of it? They are just a huge faff to get to, plus I'm obviously no longer looking for work so I'm not sure the purpose of them now.
submitted by daydreamingtulip to DWPhelp [link] [comments]

2021.09.28 11:46 infosec-jobs [Hiring] Junior Vulnerability Analyst (Entry Level) (Remote)

submitted by infosec-jobs to techjobs [link] [comments]

2021.09.28 11:46 Gijs158 Free burned hands

Free burned hands submitted by Gijs158 to assholedesign [link] [comments]

2021.09.28 11:46 frowzyphilanderer TIL Women are More Loyal than Men

TIL Women are More Loyal than Men submitted by frowzyphilanderer to todayilearned [link] [comments]

2021.09.28 11:46 lamBullyMaguire Fakes together strong

Fakes together strong submitted by lamBullyMaguire to raimimemes [link] [comments]